Heh, heh. It is fitting that Kahvi should become a "poster child" for the question of what defines feminity.
I think that those qualities Muriel mentioned (soft, tender, nurturing, diplomatic (?hypocritical?), pretty, shy) are what gentlemen used to wish ladies were or would be. Oppression of this nature isn't conscious, it's a way for those in power to keep the comfortable status quo going along in its normal rut.
But I think that loyalty and moral strength are also among those qualities which have, from time to time in society's vicissitudes, been attributed to females as well. After all, for a prolonged period of time in the last century, it was the males who were supposedly unable to control their impulses, and the females who were required to do their utmost to resist-- so moral purity combined with fortitude was seen as a feminine attribute. Not to mention loyalty, which makes an excellent quality in a wife.
In other words, not all the characteristics attributed to females are "weak" virtues.
But Kahvi seems to me to encapsulate not just "male" good qualities like courage and strength, but also many so-called masculine characteristics that are not usually seen as positive ones: insensitivity, self-centeredness, brashness, harshness. Because lately, it seems to me, it's often the males in our society who so often get negatively portrayed.
(Be honest, when was the last time you saw a TV dad who wasn't selfish, slobbish, and stupid?)