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Sofia

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Aldar
Whew here as well. Finally read this, and I'm actually getting into it already. I really like the way you write, and how you're dealing with the story. I feel like this is one story I'll actually be enjoying for quite a while. Many fics here start out well, and then make strange turns, often making the main characters into something they weren't before. (And I'm not talking about simple personal growth here.)

Really glad you liked it! I was a little unsure of how I wanted to portrait Winnowill in this, especially her thoughts and plotting and Gliders in general are hard to get right since we know so little about them. *Worries about further character developments*

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Aldar
This, however, shows plenty of promise. I mean, Winnowill breast-feeding Rayek! :shock: What a concept, what a delightfully twisted little web you're spinning! I really wonder what she's planning to do with the poor child. (And I hope this wasn't all we heard of Tyldak...)

Oh you'll see soon *evil grin* And of course I can't leave Tyldak out, he's such a wonderful character. Not to mention that Rayek will be physically different from the other Gliders... Let's just say Tyldak will show up now and then.

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Aldar
What a sad ending for Jarrah, whom I got to like in the prologue. I knew she would die, of course, but I'm glad you shared her end (or remains, really) with us. I've been told I'm one for dark stories, but the feasting bear was a nice detail nonetheless.

Glad that scene didn't disturb or annoy anyone (so far at least). I put it in mostly because the entire prologue was written in Jarrah's POV. It would have felt weird to have her completely disappear from the story in chapter one.

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Aldar
I wonder why you decided to name Aroree's bondhawk Cloudbrusher instead of Littletrill, though. Not that I mind - and I know this takes place 600 years before she was bonded to him in the real Elfquest, but if Rayek can be raised by Gliders, then it wouldn't have bugged me if you decided to have Littletrill being born a little prematurely... :lol: Anywho, it doesn't matter much.

I'm trying to keep as close to the original timeline as possible (we'll see how that goes :roll: ) and just add my own little twists, so I figured Aroree couldn't be bonded with Littletrill at the moment. Don't worry though, Littletrill will appear later.

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Aldar
The sending thing I wouldn't know much about, so I'll leave that for someone else, but it did kind of seem a little unnecessarily complicated. However, if it's to be explained in-story as well, I'll shut up until then. :wink:

Yeah it got a bit overly complicated when I explained it outside the story, sorry. The in-story explanation will happens somewhere around chapter four or so. And I can't promise you'll like it *shame*

I must confess that part of the story is a bit of a emergency-plot-device *more shame* It came to me around three-thirty in the morning as I was trying to figure out a way for Rayek to be named Rayek without it just being a coincidence that both his parents and the Gliders named him the same name.

So Aroree had to get to know his name through one of his parents. But she couldn't be allowed to see how his parents looked like or that would screw up another plot further ahead *sigh* And that's when my sleepy mind came up with the brilliant idea that Ingen should send to Aroree.

Too bad Sun Villagers can't send. This lead to the need of a second idea. Which ended with Ingen as a talking spirit (been reading too much "The Discovery" I guess). And with a little more plotting I found a way to explain this in-story and give Aroree some more plot-time.

I hope this doesn't annoy people too much. If it does I will try to think of something else - but then I risk having to rewrite about half of the over all plot a few times which will lead to the second chapter taken even more time to finish than the first (just as a warning, not a threat. I don't want to write plot-devices that bug people, I hate does).

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Aldar
Seeing how much I like this so far, I might get painfully honest later on if there's something I disagree with. It's your story, yes, yes, but I hope you treat this well. :wink:

Criticism is ever so welcome as long as it's constructive! In other words: You don't yell "You sux!" in big, angry red letters without explaining why and I don't ignore you. Sound fair? *smile*

I myself like this story and I hope you'll help me keep from ruining it later! I'm becoming more nervous for each plot-point I create since I really don't want to mess this up.

Hopefully you won't have to suffer through an un-betad chapter the next time. And I'm _not_ blaming manga! Accidents happen and real life always comes first. I should just have written a little faster so it would have been finished sooner, my apologies! Now I'll go back to working on chapter two (Must. Not. Get. Distracted!).