It does seem to me that a simpler method would be to simply say, "Aroree couldn't know that it was only the stranger's acute pain that had pushed his mind past its usual boundaries, enabling him to send to her as he died."
Use it if you like!
Thank you! That line is perfect! I'm adding it to the story right away. (Been thinking of ways to simplify this all night and you just saved me a lot of headache! *bows down in gratitude*
I personally thought it quite appropriate that Littletrill had not been born yet-- in fact, I would have probably found fault with it if you had done otherwise.
I agree that the story should follow the canon in every instance but this one change (Rayek's arrival among the Gilders). It makes it much more interesting if you don't change other things, because then the reader can see clearly the ripples that the one change you have made creates in the original plot.
Messing with storylines has always been my favorite pastime *grin* I personally don't think it would have been as much fun to write this if everything except Rayek's childhood wasn't the same. Seeing the world of Elfquest go crazy because of one little change is always entertaining *smirk*
I wouldn't worry too much about mischaracterizing those Gliders we know little about. You clearly understand the Gliders' way of life very well, and I found Aroree's reactions completely believable. I think that as long as they have the Glider mindset, you can do as you like with characterizations of Gliders who have not been fully characterized by the original authors.
The ones I'm most worried to mischaracterize are the Gliders we do know (in other words: Aroree, Tyldak, Winnowill and Lord Voll) Not to mention Rayek. Growing up in Blue Mountain will be a completely different thing from a childhood in Sorrow's End. A comparison:
Sorrow's End = Parents (who ignored him quite a lot). Special because of his magic, but always competing with Leetha for others' attention. Other elves younger than him.
Blue Mountain = Orphan. Definitely not ignored, ever. Always special, meaning loads of attention (perhaps even too much for him) Youngest by millennia. Winnowill.
I have some plans how this will affect him as a person, especially as he grows into a youth, but I'm a little concerned that I'll make him too "un-Rayek-y". Thankfully I have the one person possibly most knowledgeable of Rayek as my beta-reader now, so I'm a little calmer now than I were before *smile*
Keep up the good work! I'm enjoying this immensely!
I'm really happy you like my story (I'm still waiting for someone to show up and scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!")
I will try to keep this interesting and believable. I appreciate all corrections and advice I get! Typos and weird plot-ideas tend to slip by me when I write at night (which is when I get most of my writing done) and I get kinda fault-blind when I read through my own work.
Now back to chapter two...