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Allura

Quote:
krwordgazer

The characterizations are great, and you describe the action well. The only thing that surprised me a little was that there wasn't more initial concern towards Ekuar on the part of Pike and Shenshen. Shenshen seemed more concerned about his lack of limbs and whether he'd be any use to them than about his plight-- and that seems odd to me. I'd think she'd be shocked and compassionate and ready to press food on him at once.



I know... I found it difficult to write that part. I was kind of assuming Rayek would be the one getting his food and stuff, and so Shenshen wanted to help by making him clothes out of Rayek's cloak. I know I didn't get that point across... I may end up re-writing that bit later.

But thank you for the critique! I so wanted to have two things happen; I wanted one of the characters to be caught by the trolls (I thought it would be Shenshen at first, but it ended up being Hotburr) and I wanted the elves to end up at the old Holt. It took me forever to figure this one out. So I eventually figured out that one of the elves could take a troll hostage, but then Greymung informed me that he wouldn't care whatsoever. So I was stuck again. So I asked whether he would care about his prize woman, and he didn't... but Picknose threw a fit, and so we worked out a deal. ^^ Still not sure what's gonna happen to Picky when Guttlecraw's people show up, but *shrug* we'll find out, I'm sure.

And now you know! ...And knowing is half the battle! *dies*