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Tenderfoot

Okay... so how does one start any of this? I don't really want to be the first one, but seeing as no one else have requested help and I am eager to continue this story... *sighs*

(Working) Title: Three Little Elflings
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
(Working) Genre: Friendship and Adventure

(it's a gift story for my beta reader on FFN - 'tis why she can't help me. And also why it's a stupid idea, just something to make her happy)

Shortly put, the Fellowship is about one week into their journey and it's somewhat of an AU from there. They stumble upon Aragorn's elven brother, Elladan, who has somehow been transformed to a small child and is captured by orcs (around 7 years old). When they try to rescue his twin Elrohir (also a small child), whatever happened to them also befalls Legolas - and the Fellowship is stuck with three elven children. They must decide what to do with them: take them back to Rivendell, let someone take them back while the rest continue, or bring them on the journey. In the end, they end up taking the children with them in hopes they will find somewhere safe to leave them (or turn them back to adults as they need full number). The story will revolve around the children and take up themes such as angst, guilt, innocence, understanding of elves, and the struggle to fit in and find your place.

My problem with this story is just writing it; I'm not satisfied with anything I write and though I keep telling myself that correcting can wait until later, it doesn't help. I'm not able to write any further before I am satisfied with what I already have. I do tend to write things chronologically, you see...

When you read my story, I would like for you to:
- 'evaluate' the flow of my writing and the way my sentences are written.
- suggest more stuff to put in before and after already written paragraphs
- point out unnecessary information or words or anything else that might catch your eye
- 'listen to' the lines (I feel they do not sound real)
- suggest. a. better. title. (dies of shame) (I've been thinking of simply Innocence...)
- direct me in case of OOC'ness (Out-Of-Character), if possible
- tell me what to do with the action scenes - I suck at making those

I have no problems with critique - say you hate it, flame it, wish for your eyes to be stabbed out - I am open for anything. And I highly doubt you can say worse than I have already heard.