I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back to you on this, but my life went shit as well, and I've been absent for quite awhile.
You are always welcome for the critiques. Your style is incredible, and I look forward to reading more of your fiction, fan-based or not. I took the time to reread this while I'm here, and my anticipation meter is rising, too. WHAT HAPPENS? For the love of SHOES, what's going on at the end? I'm dying for more. Please continue writing!!