Trollhammer, this is a very interesting way of looking at things. The three rock-shapers in the bar made me chuckle.
I personally believe soul names are established...well...even before birth. Eyes High was wanting to take Skywise up to the tallest trees to be closest to the stars since before he was born (so I'm assuming there was an undeveloped ability to "send" while still a fetus or the mother can simply feel what the baby wants). Dewshine took Windkin up to the tallest trees before he was born too, probably for similar reasons.
Your program does present a puzzle. A soul name can't be established AFTER an elf has done certain acts (in my opinion) but your program will need to do it this way as a means of assigning a soul name. So, here's what I would suggest:
Utilize a series of hypothetical questions during the start-up portion of the game (like in Morrowind). It can be the same scenario.
Character selects: elf (perhaps they can choose human, preservers, troll, elf, etc), male, perhaps design their characters physical characteristics, etc. Then, they select basic skills sets (I want my elf to be an excellent archer without rock-shaping ability). These are the basics.
Next the player will be asked a series of questions.
"Your character, being an archer, must practice archery skills and acquire equipment. S/he acquires equipment by:
a.) Building it from scratch
b.) Stealing the equipment from sleeping humans
c.) Winning it in a game of toss-stone with some trolls"
In this way the game could determine a level of industriousness, honesty/integrity and intelligence. These factors will be weighed in some rudimentary way and then a soul-name will be assigned.
These factors could also affect the character throughout the game and determine how much the character is liked, how "lucky" they are (at gambling, bartering, etc.) how quickly they learn skills, etc.
Again, I'm not much of a gamer. This is just a suggestion and perhaps you can build off of this. I do like the idea that you are trying to incorporate the language into this.