Why are you going to the trouble of sorting the politicians? Didnt you get the one-size-fits-all dog food grinder?
I'm not eager to run this place all by my onesies, so I'll need some useful tools in local government. Besides, overweight sharks would look ridiculous. First I thought I'd process the surplus politicians (and lawyers) to small green cookies to feed the poor, but I wouldn't want the starving to be poisoned either...
Bad enough the sharks spat Putin back up the plank. They're probably still busy digesting Li'l Kim. How much is that food grinder? Can it be used as a liquidizer as well?
Oh, please meet my personal secretary, Miss Chelsea Manning. I want all my crimes and atrocities properly leaked to remind the world how evil I am.