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Morbid Quest Predictions

TrollHammer

Well, normally a thread here in the Battlefield is straight insults, one member "against" another, and we have a lot of fun. This thread is not intended to be for insulting or venting about Final Quest, but more a morbid parody of the "Final Quest Predictions" thread.



So, here we explore the more morbid predictions. There has alreadg been a lot of talk about loss, death, and other sad things that might hapoen in Final Quest, but what about "How" and "Why", and usually people dont want to think about their favorite charscters dieing in the story.



Guess what? Its still fun for several of us to let loose and daydream about silly, morbid, archane, nonsensical, or unusual outcomes for Final Quest, such as:



What if One Eye were to cone back... As a zombie?

What if Cutter's Terror was simply a reaction to hearing whats for dinner, and finding out its not beef?

What if the "death" hinted at here and there was caused by Brill's child, playing with matches, and the new Father Tree burns to the ground... And the wolfriders still had ten years to pay it off?

What if Nonna and Adar succumbed to becoming the World of Two Moons' first trailer trash homestead?

What if Rayak/Winnie run for president?



Whatcha think?



(Please note: It appears that you will have to become a member of this group to post here, I can't find a way around it. Feel free to do so. While you're at it, take a jab at other members of the group in the other threads!)

lunakat

Is this open to the rest of the forum? It should be! Heart

TrollHammer

Not sure, was intended to be, will be working on it.



(edit)



Group setting should allow non-members to at least view the thread, don't know if they can post yet. Left a link on the "Future Quest Predictions" thread as well.



So do you have any thoughts? I'll wait a few days and see what else comes up, then post up a few thoughts on some of the above suggestions. A taste of what's going though my mind:



Winnie/Rayak uses the Palace to go back to the point One-Eye abandons his body to leave for the palace. Winnie "aquires" the abandoned body, as it was pretty much physically healed anyway. As her powers seem to follow with her spirit, she also heals the blinded eye, and begins to wreck havoc on the World of Two Moons, but in a male Wolfrider's body... This drives her even more insane.



(More like that brewing)



Someone else's turn!

lunakat

Skywise recognizes Venka.... and Rayek kills him.

TrollHammer

Heh heh heh... Then Cutter brain-fries Rayak and Winnie again in a Will rage. What's left of thier personas meld together into a duplicate of Trinket.

lunakat

Suntop sends out 'the call,' linking all elfinkind. His signal attracts, not only elves on the planet, but the Neverending... who are apparently survivors of the High One's home planet. While the High Ones relied upon nature, and community, pot*cough* dreamberries, and folk songs...and their natural magic... to get them through the stars... the Neverending have highly developed machines and computer systems. As a consequence, they have digital files of all High One related transactions stretching back for a millenium.



Surprise! It turns out, there is an outstanding lein/unpaid mortage on the palace. It is summarily repossessed... (hence Cutter's shocked look!). The elves gather for their final quest to 'occupy' the palace and declare their rights on basis of adverse possession.

TrollHammer

But they are sitting in the dark since the "power" of the palace aint free, and no one paid the power bill in 20,000 years (longer than the Amish!). The Neverending have a sub species k.own as "firstborn lawbreeds" that wrap up the Palace in so much red tape it is stained pink back through time, and the Elves spend the better part of an eon trying to get it back from the impound.

lunakat

At which point, the Winnowil/Rayek merger attempts a hostile takeover...

lunakat

oops... I mean the Rayek/Winnowil/One-Eye merger. She's attempting to become a monopoly again!

TrollHammer

Microsoft and Google force the Blue Mountain Supreme Matriarc & Excellance Limited Liability Company (B.M. SMELL CO.) into a cooperative agreement that allows psychic internet connectivity, monitering of Elves' thoughts, and advertising to be placed directly into the dreams of any who are connected through Sunstream. They call the merger "Merge & Integration Never Disguized as Radical Approportioning of People's Enjoyment... For no particular reason.

lunakat

For Embala...

The chances of Strongbow falling in love with Shuna and leaving Moonshade for her are about 1,000,000 to 1.... pretty much the same odds as the Palace being struck by lightening.

The Palace is struck by lightening.

Strongbow simultaneously falls madly in love with Shuna, and essentially divorces Moonshade. A jilted Moonshade teams up with Bee, and the two go ballistic on their @$$%$.

Faced with the insurgence of their tailor, and lacking the ability to sew... the rest of the Wolfriders are reduced to using fragments of the Palace to patch their leathers. When Cutter sees Strongbow in sequins... he freaks out.

lunakat

Lolz, TH... lolz! Roflmao

TrollHammer

Quote:


For Embala...



The chances of Strongbow falling in love with Shuna and leaving Moonshade for her are about 1,000,000 to 1.... pretty much the same odds as the Palace being struck by lightening.



The Palace is struck by lightening.



Strongbow simultaneously falls madly in love with Shuna, and essentially divorces Moonshade. A jilted Moonshade teams up with Bee, and the two go ballistic on their @$$%$.



Faced with the insurgence of their tailor, and lacking the ability to sew... the rest of the Wolfriders are reduced to using fragments of the Palace to patch their leathers. When Cutter sees Strongbow in sequins... he freaks out.





What is worse, is that Strongbow wavers between wearing a single sequined archery glove (with the seemingly inadvertant crotch scratch with a high pitched wolf howl), or a cowlick, chops, and high collars.



Meanwhile Leetah goes Madonna and starts wearing a modified chest plate from the battle with the frozen mountain trolls....



Trollbabe

Winnow-one-eye-ray?

After bee-friending Bee, Moonshade decides to set aside her bitterness against Strongbow, and move on. Bee, too, resolves that whatever will bee, will bee, and abandons hope of reconciling with Shuna.

Bee considers that Moonshade won't grow old like Shuna, since all Elf girls stay hot for centuries. Moonshade realizes that human Bee won't bee around long enough for her to get tired of him. They fall in love and live happily ever after.

TrollHammer

And no one gets stung?

TrollHammer

Two-Edge invents the Television... Elves become game show hosts...

Two-Edge recognizes the Elven eqivlant to Vanna White...

We find out Two-Edge DOES have a soul name...

We also find out that only wolfriders have soul names....

How can this be?

We find out on "This is Your Exceedingly Long Life" that Winnie is Kahvi's sister, the one that no one speaks of and was left for dead, but rescued by the gliders. Two-Edge carries wolfblood, and this is why he chose the Wolfriders to be the recipiants of his "golden hoard".

Once this is discovered he settles down with his yet-to-be-named wolfrider mate, lets his forge cool in exchange for a long, dull, uneventful domestic life in front of the boob tube.

Trollbabe

Moonshade even makes a Bee costume for him.

TrollHammer

Two Elves walk into a bar...



Two-Edge laughs at the silly elves...



Then chugs a hogshead of Dreamberry Brew...



And invents an ethanol powered automobile...



He is the first Abodian to be convicted of a DUI.

TrollHammer

Cutter, in his old age, decides to incite rules against casual nudity within the holt.



The tribe splits again, and surprisingly the only one to stay with Cutter is Skywise, perhaps because he was too distracted by a centerfold of Aroree he had found to really understand what was going on.



A week later, Cutter finds himself entirely alone after Skywise, still distracted by the picture, wanders out in front of a cart and gets run over, becoming the first "formerly sentient roadkill" on Abode.



Cutter becomes a lumberjack.



Ember becomes a Pyromaniac.



Treestump becomes a couch potato.



Door meets a new friend known as Stop and they go nowhere.



Egg starts getting pastel tattoos early in the spring for some reason.



Trinket starts selling bracelet charms and other souveners on a street corner.



Old Maggoty opens a bait shop.



Oddbit, after hanging up her dance shoes for several centuries, discovers latent talent when Computers are finally invented and invents a method of data checking.



Picknose finds out you can pick your nose. He also finds out you can pick your friends. Later, he finds out the hard way that you can't pick your friend's nose.



Little Patch gets into trouble when his little patch of plants becomes a big patch of plants and he starts selling them. He is elegible for parole in five years.



Scorch prods the government into building nuclear weapons, enough to blast every square mile of Abode, then proposes a policy to launch these bombs if he isn't allowed to race whenever he wishes.



Surge starts gaining weight after finding a kind of pop he really likes, and drinks to much of it.



Snakeskin is made into a pair of boots.



Pike gets abducted by a tribe of head hunters and now adorns a pole outside their village.



Strongbow aquires the Bow of Odin, then moves to Sherwood Forest.



Moonshade loses a lot of money investing in a company that sold Lunar Awnings.



Redlance takes up professional jousting.



Two Edge gets thrown in jail for selling double bladed knives.



Mender starts darning socks



Woodlock makes a fortune making hand carved security devices.



Sun-Toucher recieves third degree burns playing with freznel lenses.

TrollHammer

The most unexpected revelation noted in Final Quest...



A faulty diode in the T.A.R.D.I.S. aboard an AU version of the TnL causes the Elf Quest forum to merge with the storyline. Fan-members start pouring into the World of Two Moons, who then begin to roll play various things.



This annoys the elves to the point they all leave, ending the story for the most part.



The fans gather at Blue Mountain and begin to tear apart the little bit of the story that was written before the TnL crashed until it's no fun for anyone.



Egg, who had been napping at the time, is in a bad mood for not getting his full four moon's worth of beauty sleep in. Using the very stone of Blue Mountain, he impodes a shell around the fans, fusing them into one mind.



And thus, Mind-Coil is born...

TrollHammer

We also learn a darker side of Elf Quest....

Rayak was shook up about the whole "change how the crash landing of the palace turned out" thing, but not for the reasons we had been lead to believe before...

Turns out Rayak actually did prevent the whole palace crash as he intended, but discovered that the lofty High Ones were actually nit as benign as they lead everyone to believe.

Prior to coming to the world of two moons, they and their flying, talking pets and their disgruntled crew coursed through the galaxy reigning terror from star to star as Space Pirates. They had pillaged every system they had ever come to, but the planet of Abode could sense their intentions and knocked them into last week... Twenty thousand years ago...

Anyway, in the shuffle, the crew of prototrolls decided to mutiny and flee the ship. Trying to get them back, the pirates left the safety of thier ship and fell prey to the humans of the planet... The rest of the story is much as we remember.

The snippet we dont see is how the pirates, warned by Rayak, make adjustments to their craft and succeed in their raid of Abode. In the process of warning them, they find out about the mutiny and make the prototrolls walk the plank.

As a replacement crew they choose to abduct the Sun Villagers that somehow made the budget cut and enslave them while they go on throughout the universe pirating everything from gold doubloons to free cable TV...

That is until Rayak finds out about the whole thing. Using the power of his own Palace, he goes back to a moment before he contacted the High-Ones (Pirate Ones) and tried to prevent himself from sending the warning.

This results in a brawl between Earlier Rayak and Later Rayak (and somehow a Kayak was involoved as well). Untroubled by the loss of his people to the pirates as slaves, Earlier Rayak was able to get the upper hand and kill Later Rayak (which results in the additional Later Palace to go careening into still another time, this time the future, and with only a handful of Elves and Trinket). This, in turn, made him late to send the warning and the crash happened normally.

Rayak makes up the story we read, but still wonders if what thw othwr Rayak was saying was true...

TrollHammer

A true Star Trek / Elf Quest crossover series begins... most of the content is the aventures of Spock on dreamberries...

TrollHammer

The AU warp spreads, connecting this thread with Jink's computer... and she wipes it.

Trollbabe

Moonshade gets stung by a bee, and breaks out in... hives.

TrollHammer

Then Old Maggoty turns into The Fly....

SailorSilvanesti

In a freak magical backlash, all the elves are merged with each other... some being the same gender... others unfortunately technically both...



The real problem starts when Skywise can't keep his hands off his/their/Nightfall's boobs... and she tries to kill him... and ends up nearly killing herself.



Of course, then, like all Wolfriders...they simply get over the strangness and adapt, in which case they attempt to merge names together.



Skywise/Nightfall = Skyfall or Nightwise or simply 'Don'tTouchMyBoobies!"



Cutter/Rayek = Ratter or Cayek (Kayak, geddit?)



Moonshade/Strongbow = Strongshade or Moonbow



etc...

SailorSilvanesti

Jink turns out to have the 'Best of Both Worlds'...if you know what we mean.



I guess that's what happens when you are the product of the recognition between a Chief and Stargazer...



I tell you, Cutter sure was surprised... Skywise moreso.

lunakat

Following a seismic catastrophe that destroys all human life... the Abode turns into the planet vulcan. The Sunfolk lead the elves in rebuilding civilization. Venka takes over leadership, launching the Vulcan ideology of logic and non-emotionalism... Meanwhile, the GoBacks finally steal the little Palace successfully and turn it into a flying ship. They escape into space, only to land on the planet Romulus.

... just a theory

TrollHammer

Lol

Mindcoil is the instigator of a "Freaky Friday" phenominon, however the effect was much more wide spread: male, female, young, old, Troll, Human, Elf, or Preserver... All are thrown into the mix! Unsure what is going on, or who its happening to, no one discusses it and plays their physical parts, not wanting to admit who is who...

Rayak ends up in the body of Leetah and has to envision himself recognized to Cutter (or at least his body), Cutter ends up in Oddbit's body, and has to dance for Picknose, who is enhabited by Kahvi.
Winnowil finds herself in Two-Edge's body, and Two Edge gets mixed up in Jink's body.. Which results in rather interesting consequences...

Even more insanity ensues, as the Shaman wakes up in Bearclaw's body, and Bearclaw drinks himself to oblivion in Greymung's physical form

ShenShen commits suicide after looking in a mirror and seeing Old Maggoty looking back at her.

Old Maggoty finds herself in a peculiar position in the youthful body of Kullyan, who was spending the night with Tamia at the time, who was now inhabited by Scorch.

From there it goes downhill...

Miz-Diablo

Kureel returns, never having actually died, just been lost in the mazes of Blue Mountain and recognizes Chitter. This drives Strongbow insane and he tries to kill Kureel (again). This time however, Strongbow is the one to die and Kureel takes his place as archer in the tribe, shoving an, until now, completely secret love for bow and arrows. He and Chitter becomes lifemates and gets a lot of children, who all fly around and annoy the rest of the tribe. In the end, this gets to be too much for the other elves, who kick them out and they have to start their own tribe, which is not hard, since they have seven children to hunt for them.

SailorSilvanesti

The Trolls all take their first bath in...well, EVER, and as the muck and grime of centuries sloughs away... what do you know?



They were really just tall Elves who liked a bit of muck!

lunakat

You know what, Sailor? I LIKE that theory!



Hmmm

Quote:


Kureel returns, never having actually died, just been lost in the mazes of Blue Mountain and recognizes Chitter. This drives Strongbow insane and he tries to kill Kureel (again). This time however, Strongbow is the one to die and Kureel takes his place as archer in the tribe, shoving an, until now, completely secret love for bow and arrows. He and Chitter becomes lifemates and gets a lot of children, who all fly around and annoy the rest of the tribe. In the end, this gets to be too much for the other elves, who kick them out and they have to start their own tribe, which is not hard, since they have seven children to hunt for them.





In another terrible, freak, palace-related accident... Kureel and Chitter's brood are thrown back in time- and evolve into "preservers."

Trollbabe

Kureel and Chitter's children come up with a name for their new tribe: Kritters.

TrollHammer

The great loop of time (in which the palace is thrown back 20k years and then catches up to cause the crash) itself gets caught in a time loop and creates a mobius... The past and future Palaces fuse into one, and Sunstream, who was sleeping on board at the time, becomes connected with all elves everywhere and everywhen...



Thus, Living and Slightly More Crazy Winnie must share minds with the Wolfriders past, present, and future... This makes her sad....



Living One Eye becomes linked with Dead One Eye, Zombie One Eye, and himself back when he had more than one eye... This makes him confused....



Young Skywise, Wolfrider Skywise, and wolfbloodless Skywise become linked... He doesn't know if he's annoyed by himself, about to be lost to the stars, or Recognizing himself.... This makes him want to be alone with his thoughts and himself....



Eukar is linked with his younger, non-amputated self.... this makes him severly uncoordinated...



Leetah's long lineage of Self, while fairly undifferentiated, causes her to become both jealous and repulsed by herself.... She is able to maintain her ability to reason and her fierce will at first, but she later becomes a far worse corrupted individual than Winnie, and turns the Wolfriders, who were Elf with Wolf blood mixed in, into humaniod Wolves with a little Elf in them, and makes them all subserviant to her. They carry her whereever she wishes to go, and she end up growing fat with all the servanthood around her doting on her. Not having figured out mirrors, however, she is still under the impression that she's "all that" and enters a beauty pagent with Old Maggoty... Old Maggoty wins....



The only Wolfrider that was able to break free of Leetah's hold was Pike, who's drunkeness throughout the ages was linked... This will one day hit him with one killer of a hangover....



The gliders become linked with the Wavedancers.... They find themselves uncontrollably seeking out Flying Fish for food, which quickly become extinct. An unknown niche in the ecosystem is then lost and Hermit Crabs begin to grow to enorous size... Entire settlements and towns are laid to waste a few years later and begin to destroy everything in every square inch of planet.... They are slow, though, so we have plenty of time to discover a new plot twist that wipes them out too... Meanwhile, the Gliders have a bad case of Sand Fleas...



THe Trolls could care less about this, however. They end up finding a new portal into our planet and start the industrial revolution. They're still around, laying low, waiting for Human Ingenuity to catch up to that of their own....

TrollHammer

So Jink, while learning how to teleport, ends up bouncing all over Abode, causing all sorts of havoc.

One of these 'jinks' ends up disrupting a print shop. Popping into the main floor, with one foot landing in an ink can and wearing the reminants of an origionally skimpy outfit, meyhem ensued and startled her, tearing spacetime just enough for the print shop to merge with our world.

However, the print shop had a major union, and tended to print things in a negative fasion (white on black, instead of the usual black on white). In our world, it merged with Mavel, which had enough clout to go toe to toe with the union, and the result was that Future Quest ended up getting reprinted in the future in a comprimised format- black on white orints were made on top of white on black prints, resulting in a uniform muddled grey that nothing could be seen...

Sort of like the grey text on grey background that the Mobile side of this site has going on...

PCoquelin

Morbid? ok..

What if, along the millenias, enough elves had gone away from Voll's guidance and Blue Mountain..



..to create another realm of their own, whose members and wonders..



..Sunstream discovers..



..sharing what is revealed with the tribe...



..but a dominion where humans are SLAVES, treated even worse than anything else,
those elves guilty of deeds even worse than what nazis committed on our world?

What if Sunstream finally finds out about it and points and sends the related horrors to his sire?



What if some humans find out about this horrid elf dominion..
and what if MOST humans decide to wipe their world free of elves once and for all, as a consequence?



What if the final quest for uniting elves is thus confronted to not only a huge failure,
but also to a terrible threat of extermination for all elves..?

What if my too gentle 'cloud-head'..



..ended among the victims of that final quest?

What if what's left of elves have to unite with trolls for resistance to both nazi-like elves and humans..
..and then have to flee urgently in the Palace, leaving much behind?






Studying the chronology of events and situations..



..could tell even far more.





Really, I am in NO hurry..



..to read that 'Final Quest'.

Trollbabe

The Palace, after multple crash-landngs and remodelings, is in need of repair. Skywise goes on a FutureQuest for spare parts. Cutter reacts in horror when he sees the bill.

TrollHammer

Question quest:
Should this thread be opened in the main forum?

Morbid quest:
After spending so much time around elves, the adopted himans in the tribe begine to be able to send, and them to recognize.

Shauna, who seemed to have mellowed since her youthful joan-of-the-ark days, goes on a jealous, murderous rampage after Skywise recognizes Bee...

Embala


Question quest:
Should this thread be opened in the main forum?
There might be a slight chance to move the whole thread ... should I ask?

PCoquelin

I added a link to this thread here, inside my blog "A website I love".
Third " + " after "FINAL QUEST".



By the way, to anyone concerned and curious enough..
..never hesitate to point to my attention a thread that should appear in my panorama!

TrollHammer



I added a link to this thread here, inside my blog "A website I love".

Third " + " after "FINAL QUEST".







By the way, to anyone concerned and curious enough..

..never hesitate to point to my attention a thread that should appear in my panorama!






Glad you get a kick out of it. You had quite a creative post!



Embala said


There might be a slight chance to move the whole thread ... should I ask?







If you want to, and it won't mess up things, go ahead. I didn't origionally think it would be so popular, and wasn't intending to block out 'non group members', just mildly filter it in case some found it offensive. *shrug* I really like reading what others come up with, and think it would be neat to see what the whole EQ community could bring!



Moving the thread might be the better idea too, instead of having 2-3 morbid threads bouncing around everywhere.

Embala

Time to find out whether Arthis can move Group threads, too! What section would you choose for it in the mai Scroll?

- All the Many Colors?
- or Elfquest Fanart and Fanfiction?

TrollHammer

Embala said


Time to find out whether Arthis can move Group threads, too! What section would you choose for it in the mai Scroll?



- All the Many Colors?

- or Elfquest Fanart and Fanfiction?







*sheepishly shrugs*



Both good ideas, I couldnt pick. Im sure if Arthis can do it, can also figure out the best place for it.

lunakat


The Palace, after multple crash-landngs and remodelings, is in need of repair. Skywise goes on a FutureQuest for spare parts. Cutter reacts in horror when he sees the bill.



I honestly don't know that we can top this!

TrollHammer

Perhaps not top it, but complement?

...Later, after recovering from the shock, Cutter goes about trying to find ways of paying.

He searches high and low, but comes up with little of actual value to trade or sell. Furs and leathers only go so far, and they had left the gold and jem collecting to the Trolls.

The Trolls, have plenty. More than thry need, in fact, but they also figure that there is already a debt owed for the near 10000 years the wolfriders slept in their storage unit, so they are of no help.

Lackong any other option, Cutter turns to human loan sharks.

Alas, though they secured the loan, they still had no way to repay the loan, and the leg breakers came to collect (see the sketch of humans with weapons drawn).

Fortunately, the palace's space fairing abilities are fully functional, and the Elves had seen Star wars as well, and knew to check to make sure the hyperdrive worked before fleeing. Away they went, figuring they would come back after things cooled off.

TrollHammer

Treestump....

The old coot, with his funny grin and squint in his eye...

He starts showing his age, mentally as well as physically. The change crept up slowly, even by Elfin standards. But in the end it was enevitable. Treestump the elder became Peepstump the pervert.

lunakat

Winnowil shapechanges into Gargamel, attacks the Sunfolk and turns them into Smurfs.

Trollbabe

lunakat said

Winnowil shapechanges into Gargamel, attacks the Sunfolk and turns them into Smurfs.


By dropping the temperature until they turn blue from the cold.

Embala

Guys, you are prizeless!

[Deleted User]

Well, this is the silliest sketch I've ever been a part of. Not that I was a part of it until I said this, but in any event... quite silly. Quite. Quite quite silly.

*twirls off to go shop for cheese*

Headbang3

TrollHammer

Kimo ends up jealous of Strongbow, but knowing he hasnt a chance against the archer as an elf, he shapeshifts into an arriw and hides in strongbow's quiver.

Strongbow goes on a hunt.

Kimo intended to cause Stongbow to shoot himself by twisting himself backwards on release...

Instead, he ends up getting killed as his WaRPed trajectory intersects instead with the Father Tree, forever leaving his mark on the home of the Wolfriders.

Confused, Strongbow hangs up his bow, not wishing to inflict any more harm to their home or other elves.

TrollHammer

Dorthy, of Kansas, lands on the world of two moons in her flying house and lands on Winnie, takes her shoes (which are too tight) and sets off on the yellow path.

This "yellow path" turns out to be the Burning Waste, and it leads her to Two Edge, the Mastersmith of Elves.

He sends her on a quest to bring bafk the necklace of the Bone Woman.

She ends up being charged with murder after she drowns the Bone Woman, however, her jury was mostly made up of Wolfriders and, hippy children that they are, they had just left a field of poppys and werent sure what was going on, and declared her innocent of "everything, man, and then some..." and cleared the courtroom with some long speech in Preserver speak.

However, she failed in Two-Edge's bidding, and was forced to find new friends to socialize with having hit a dead end.

She finally gathered a group consisting of Treestump (stout as a Lion), Dart ( thin as a Scarecrow), and Khavi (wearing her Tin breastplate).

They continue galavanting around as stormchasers, trying to find a twister to take her back to Kansas.

Embala

I wish I'd have a bit of your imagination in this case, Hammer! It looks so natural and obvious now ... but I had never thought of LionStump, ScareDart and TinKhavi myself! Laugh

Winnowill as the wicked witch ... would give Timmain the role of Glynda. Wink

Wondering who Dorothy could be ... as an elf! Or as a human girl on the WotMs - young Shuna?

TrollHammer

Embala said

I wish I'd have a bit of your imagination in this case, Hammer! It looks so natural and obvious now ... but I had never thought of LionStump, ScareDart and TinKhavi myself! Laugh

Winnowill as the wicked witch ... would give Timmain the role of Glynda. Wink

Wondering who Dorothy could be ... as an elf! Or as a human girl on the WotMs - young Shuna?



As an elf? Id almost say Jink, though it would be a time mismatch with the others, but as a lone/small small team she went the most places and seems the most dynamic, and had many personal quests... But for an "of era" elf, it would more likely be an AU young elf, like an Ember that ended up roaming free, or a Crescent that survived..., but for some reason I would almost feel like throwing gender out and saying Skywise... Hmm...

Of course, the morphed parallel that was too obvious was Winnie as the wicked witch of the west, but instead of her melting with water, she melted dorthy (or Smelt, or assassins, or whoever)...

With Troll/preserver hybrids in place of flying monkeys!

Embala


With Troll/preserver hybrids in place of flying monkeys!

OMG!! Beware!

lunakat

Embala said

I wish I'd have a bit of your imagination in this case, Hammer! It looks so natural and obvious now ... but I had never thought of LionStump, ScareDart and TinKhavi myself! Laugh

Winnowill as the wicked witch ... would give Timmain the role of Glynda. Wink

Wondering who Dorothy could be ... as an elf! Or as a human girl on the WotMs - young Shuna?



In the Original Quest

Cutter was Dorothy. (There was no place like home)
The forest fire was the tornado
Nightrunner was Toto
Skywise was the Scarecrow (if he only had a brain)
Leetah, the Tin Man (if she only had a heart!)
and the Cowardly Lion was played by Redlance.

The SunFolk were the Munchkins
Winnowil was the Wicked Witch.. and she totally melted when someone threw Leetah at her.
The Chosen Eight were the flying monkeys.
The GoBacks and Trolls inhabited the Emerald City
And either Two Edge or Lord Voll was the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz

Savah was the Good Witch of the North. Timmain was Glinda, good witch of the South.

Trollbabe

I just can't see Joyleaf as Auntie Em.

Embala

LOL

I just can't see Joyleaf as Auntie Em.

No wonder - Auntie Em would be Rillfisher ... or Treestump! XD

lunakat

Aunti Em and Uncle Henry were embodied by Clearbrook and Treestump, respectively.

TrollHammer

Through a series of strange events involving Rayak/Winnie exporing the possibility of a relationship, a "safety precaution" in the magical makeup of Elves is broken and spirits in the palace of the high ones begin to recognize living elves.

As a result, Ember is recognized by a crotchety old GoBack that had died centuries before she was even born, with a name that is an unutterable profanity for a Troll such as myself to repeat, and things start getting REALLY crazy...

Embala

The soul of Ember's probable child is already created by that most weird Recognition of all. Being not able to cannot be born before Ember and Pegleg actually fulfill the urge the spiritchild is nagging constantly and driving their supposed partents mad before it is even conceived!

Pegleg is looking for a body to use for "joining porpose" - and comes to the conclusion that no one would be more appropriate as Ekuar.

With a little help of Winnowill, who hopes to get something interesting to play with finally, Pegleg manages to usurp Ekuar's body.
Hm ... as usual for Go-Backs he was acting before thinking - and discovered too late that he and Ember were captured on different continents now.

This is starting three quests
- Ember's Quest for her (suddenly disappeared) spirit mate
- Ekuar/Pegleg's Quest for a ticket to Howling Rock
- Cutter's Quest for the sense of it all

Trollbabe

Moonshade, seeking to outdo the other Elves in production of baby shower gifts for all the new cubs, steals an entire flock of goats from a human village. She slaughters and skins them, creating a uniform stack of flat, evenly thin kidskins.

The other Wolfriders scold her for causing trouble with the humans. In remorse, whe decorates the kidskins with elaborate dyeing techniques, and returns them to the village. The flock belonged to a monastery, so the kidskins are returned to the monks, who bind them and fill them with writing, creating the first illuminated manuscript.

TrollHammer

(was going to draw this one, but as usual, not getting around to it)...

Cutter and Skywise mistakenly enter a shift in space and time (as well as universe and sanity). Wandering around on wolfback, they wearily turn in for the night, mistakenly parkin their wolves in a bad part of town.

They awaken to find black grafitti sprayed in two of the archane local symbols and a generous portion of orange paint covering their mounts.

They are chased by the local sheriff, (who turns out to be Two Edge) and his Deputy (Picknose). Turns out the local cointy commishioner (Winnie) had a hairbrianed scheme to arrest them on false charges.


Cutter and Skywise lead the hapless Picky and Two Edge all over the county, occasionally firing an arrow back at their assailants. They end up jumping their wolves (with a good ol howl) over the local pond. Picky and Two Edge try to follow, but end up landing in the pond, cursing them as they get away.

This ends up becoming a weekly occurance.

And thus the Elves of Hazzard are born.

Embala

LOL ... who's Rambo's friend?

... wait ... are we playing "Smokey and the Bandit"? XD

TrollHammer

Embala said


LOL ... who's Rambo's friend?





Rambo... now there's an idea! I can see Treestump, beset by more PTSD dreams of battle, holing up in the forest, battling Picknose's clan believing them to be Frozen Mountain Trolls...



Embala said


... wait ... are we playing "Smokey and the Bandit"? XD





Sort of, Dukes of Hazzard, one of my favoite shows growing up (and was actually running during the same time period the initial Elf Quest ran). The analog here:



Bo and Luke Duke: Cutter and Skywise

Sheriff Rosco P. Coaltrain: Two-Edge (though Two-Edge would also make a good Cooter)

Deputy Sheriff (pick one): Picknose

Boss Hogg: Winnowil (though the Djun would work too)

General Lee: Cutter and Skywise's Wolves, tinted orange, with a 01 on their sides.



If I can work myself into it, I might try drawing it. I want to badly, but I know I probably won't even get close.

TrollHammer

Brill ends up falling just short of setting a new Tribal Record in the Birth Launch, a distance game like in the Olympics on Earth whereapon a Wavedancer attempts to launch their baby as far as possible.



Stratigy and technique must be planned well, as you only get one shot after two years of waiting your turn. Techniques include submerged launches at varying angles as well as Surface Launches where the young skim along the top of the water or even leave the water completely, in extreme cases.



The current record is held by a deceased ancient wavedancer, who was able to not just launch her child out over the water, but got it to skip twice before slowing down.



And thus, Skimback was born.

Dewleaf


Brill ends up falling just short of setting a new Tribal Record in the Birth Launch, a distance game like in the Olympics on Earth whereapon a Wavedancer attempts to launch their baby as far as possible.

Stratigy and technique must be planned well, as you only get one shot after two years of waiting your turn. Techniques include submerged launches at varying angles as well as Surface Launches where the young skim along the top of the water or even leave the water completely, in extreme cases.

The current record is held by a deceased ancient wavedancer, who was able to not just launch her child out over the water, but got it to skip twice before slowing down.

And thus, Skimback was born.


This about justifies my status earlier. Nothin' like baby launching.

TrollHammer

Dewleaf said






This about justifies my status earlier. Nothin' like baby launching.







And I had been wondering if you saw the post when I read your status... then looked around and realized the post I had been working on hadn't posted (was on my phone, and got a call in middle of it), so you poked me to get it posted too!

PCoquelin

Rambo... now there's an idea! I can see Treestump, beset by more PTSD dreams of battle, holing up in the forest, battling Picknose's clan believing them to be Frozen Mountain Trolls...


..and then whining on Cutter's shoulder: "BAAAW.. It's not my war, col.. er.. Cutter"



Funniest movie ever, if only for that final scene, that "Rambo" movie..

Embala

Big_laugh You guys are prizeless!

TrollHammer




..and then whining on Cutter's shoulder: "BAAAW.. It's not my war, col.. er.. Cutter"



Funniest movie ever, if only for that final scene, that "Rambo" movie..




I jist realized, it should be the other way around: Treestump should be the Col. Cutter should be Rambo, or shohld I say...

Tambo?

In the sequel, he can commandeer one of Two Edge's tree cutters and single handedly drive it, stoke the burners, and operate the blade from one seat, while taking on the Cidedel Mount all by his lonesome.

Embala

Going for Tambo!

TrollHammer

What were those exploding rocks Demon-Tricker used to trick Mantricker? Fire-rocks? Tambo ties them to his arrows to take out the bad guys.

Im picturing him with his chief's lock band tied down around his forehead...

Wasnt there a dark skinned girl in one of the movies... or was that just in the Hot Shots interpretation? If there was, what a better role.for Leetah?

Where does Skywise fit in with Tambo?

Trollbabe

I find it amusing that Cooter from DoH went into politics.

TrollHammer


I find it amusing that Cooter from DoH went into politics.



He, and various other fictional characters, would make far better politicians than a few of the unmentionables that seem to be trying to play as such...

Morbid Quest story of the day:

The Elves leave abode, not for persecution or hardship, but instead to seek out strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly sample diverse foods and wild game that no elf has tasted before.

Their path intersects that of Earth's orbit, and for a short time the moved from continent to continent, sampling whatever caught their fancy...

Then, after some small misunderstandings about beverage size limitations, hunting regulations, and a lot of things that theu could not comprehend, they left.

Quickly.

(well, perhaps not as quickly as they would have liked, as they had tanked up on chinese take out and american fast food, the latter causing the greater confusion: how is it that fast food slows you down?)

(as a result, Skywise has Moonshade make him a new wardrobe, as none of his clothes fit at all anymore...)

Trollbabe

Soliciting the aid of a healer and a water-shaper, the Elves move on to a planet entirely covered with water. They adapt physically, but continue to have problems with beverage portions, which seem to drift out of the glasses in which they are served.

Eventually they bond gnetically with sea mammals, causing them to become blubbery and streamlined. Moonshade has the hardest time with this.

TrollHammer



Soliciting the aid of a healer and a water-shaper, the Elves move on to a planet entirely covered with water. They adapt physically, but continue to have problems with beverage portions, which seem to drift out of the glasses in which they are served.



Eventually they bond gnetically with sea mammals, causing them to become blubbery and streamlined. Moonshade has the hardest time with this.







Manatees?







After putting on the ditzy act for millinia, Oddbit finally puts her plan into motion, taking control of the Palace, the Elves, and the Trolls, and makes the following assertions as the First Emperor of Abode:



Mender is enslaved and handed over as a plaything to Trinket. Curiously enough, he is clad in a skimpy outfit and chains that could only be discribed as a male version of Princes Leia's slave outfit. Trinket herself had eaten herself into quite the cave slug of a slothful Troll, and lounged around forcing Mender to dance for her.



She forced all those of her new subjects that she had known up to this point to line up and process before her. In her right hand she held a lever, and when she felt the slightest annoyance for one such a being, she would pull the lever, opening a trap door into a pit full of the nastiest things she could think of. In her eagerness to drop Picknose into the pit, she accidentally dropped Clearbrook, who had been inline before him, before she could get free from the trap door. Picknose fell in, however he wasn't completely on the door when it opened, so he clumbsily tumbled forward, hooking his nose on the far side of the hole, which only fell free once his body fell through and swung around, nearly upside down. He ultimately fell headfirst into a stalagmite, impaled.



To the aquantencance that where left she assigned the task of assembling her subjects into a vast army, to sieze control of the planet from the Humans.



Before she could extend the Palace into a sort of flying fortress, the forgotten Preservers, lead by Nutbonnet, subdue Oddbit and wrap her up.



Since everyone was all packed up and ready to go onboard the Palace, Ember decided, Hey, why not all go to Disneyland?



Chaos ensues as the remaining Wolfriders succumb to their natural instincts and eat every fairy-tale animal in sight, and WaRP Graphics is sued by Disney for damages.

Embala

Big_laugh

XD ... so Elves + Disney would not a good thing for WaRP?

TrollHammer

Embala said


Big_laugh



XD ... so Elves + Disney would not a good thing for WaRP?



Nuh_uh

TrollHammer

A magical disaster of epic proportions (can there by any other type of proportions in EQ, or MQ for that matter...) causes all elves to recognize all other Elves continuously. That is, all females (and one male healer that was previously unknown and had spent WAY too much time by himself) become pregnant and have young, and promptly become pregnant again perpetually (like Tribbles).



It is quickly determined that at the current rate, the Elvin population would become too much for an artist to draw, and it is further decided that due to the activation of a Doomsday Plot Device, all Elves would have to leave WoTM, with Sunstream left behind. Just so they can't come back, they change the name of the planet to Abode, but purposely don't update their star-charts, so they won't be able to find the planet again.



That is until they find out that after leaving Sunstream behind, they were doomed to have NO children ever again, and took up a Cloning Policy to replace the few Elves that could age themselves to death (a side effect of overdosing on "Life", as the Wolfriders tend to do.)



While the palace is gone, Sunstream finds a glider that hadn't perished (or previously named or spoken of, for that matter) but actually survived being entombed in wrapstuff under Blue Mountain. In the process of finding her, Sunstream gains a new name as "the one who was knocked senseless by a large blow to the head with a piece of stone that fell from the tunnel's overhead stalagtites one day as he was walking down said tunnel", which is far too long to keep writing all the time, so the author, having written themselves into a corner, simply renamed him "Bob" and figured after they could figure out what to name him they'd just to a search and replace. This never happens.



The story gets really hum-drum after this, but instead of simply cancelling the series and having to put up with several hundred fans hounding the author about plot disconnects, unanswered questions, things that don't make sense, and "when are we going to see more of this story", the author decides to write one last issue, in which Bob finds the Doomsday Plot Device and turns it off. This reverts everything back to "normal", and also answers all the previous "what happens next" questions, ending the storyline for ever.

Embala

*grins*

... are you plotting with Sailor? XD

TrollHammer

Embala said


*grins*



... are you plotting with Sailor? XD





No, I haven't seen what she's up to lately. How is she?

Embala

No, I haven't seen what she's up to lately. How is she?


Sailor looked in some time ago ... not so happy with real life. And probably not so happy about one or two replies she got on her most recent poll. Have not seen her since either.


Basically I was kidding - male elf pregnancy was sort of her pet subject. :D

TrollHammer

Embala said






Sailor looked in some time ago ... not so happy with real life. And probably not so happy about one or two replies she got on her most recent poll. Have not seen her since either.





Basically I was kidding - male elf pregnancy was sort of her pet subject. :D







Oooooh, that's right, forgot about that.



I'll go look in on her, thanks for the update.

TrollHammer

Greatest shocking twist to the series:



As a joke, WB announces that the ElfQuest movie isn't going to happen... but continues working on it secretly, to keep from getting pestered about when it's coming out.



Unfortunately, the movie gets dumped just before release, as they violate nearly every "rule of elfquest" when generating a new character: a decendant of Two-Edge and a human female....



Part Troll...

Part Human...

Part Elf...

All WB...



TrollHammer

The Morbid Quest Begins? Here's a sample....



If you would like to see more, "Like" this, leave a comment, or make some more great suggestions. I'll be including as many ideas from posts on this thread as I can work in!



(Bare with me, I can't seem to get it to display any larget than this at this time, sorry!)

Embala

Hehehe

Will Petalwing get into the designer business? His model has definitely the right shape XD

TrollHammer

Embala said

Hehehe

Will Petalwing get into the designer business? His model has definitely the right shape XD



That remains to be seen, as he and his manager are still working out the market analysis... He would only be able to produce more during alergy season.

Of course, his manager is Pike, so he gets about 20 minutes of sober work out of him, which is usually spend on catching up on accounting, which in turn is mostly bills for Dreamberry Brew drank by Pike.

As such, Petalwing would have to charge a fortune Picknose would wince at for just one garment, and its a single use only disposable type thing.

Embala

Laugh

Trollbabe

How they all wish they were Trolls!

TrollHammer


How they all wish they were Trolls!



Perhaps it shpuld be asked: was the "rebellion" of the prototrolls the product of mistreatment, or misunderstanding, or mischiviousness? Or was it part of a greater civil war, driven by jealousy of the elves for the curiosity, wisdom, ingenuity, and willpower the Trolls plied to their lives?

It turns out, in the rest of the story, that we find that Elves had brought about the destruction of their planet, wasting resources in the race to develop eternal life or immortality. Lazy, they developed irredescent psychoreactive polymers to form to their whims, so they did not have to produce anything anymore. This bread more sloth, and eventually the Elves were about helpless. The end of their world rolled around and they simply Willed their ships into being, and plunged out into the stars to wreak havoc on the rest of the universe.

The industrious Prototrolls, were far smarter than the elves wanted to believe, and used Preservers to distract the Elves while they snuck onboard the ship, stowaways, but at least they were alive, which was more than the Elves would have done for them.

This ticked off the Elves, of course, but even more so when the Prototrolls started taking over the functions of their flying egg shell. A fight ensued, and the prototrolls were forced to take up servant's roles or be let go into space.

Finally they had enough of it, so when they figured that the Elves werent payimg attention to them, they rebelled again.

And the rest of the story may be colored, but its pretty much as it was told. They all crashed and scattered.

faeriegirl

Awesome! More please! :D

Trollbabe

This is the story, as Proudpaunch the Gemsmith tells it:

Groundling #1: "This planet has had it! Stupid coneheads! Good thing we're almost done building our escape pods from environmentally friendly recyclables."

Groundling #2: "Ready for takeoff, cap'n! We just need something to put in the hold for ballast. You know, to keep the pointy end of the egg up."

High Ones: "Taxi! Taxi"

Groundling #1: "Just enough of 'em to do the trick. Tell our - passengers - their Premium Deck cabins are ready.

Proto-Preservers: "Spooooot!!"

Groundlings: "...and we have lift-off! Whew! Time to upgrade." (They evolve into proto-Trolls.) "We'll need uniforms... "

A few particularly high-and-mighty High Ones: "Hello! We decided to stay up here and enjoy the view. Oh, my, what happens when you pull these levers and push these shiny things... "

Palace: "CRASH!!!! Clank, clunk, tinkle, wheeze, sputter."

Proto-Trolls: "Insurance is NOT going to cover this. Let's split before the locals blame us!" (Burrow underground like sensible people.)

TrollHammer


This is the story, as Proudpaunch the Gemsmith tells it:

Groundling #1: "This planet has had it! Stupid coneheads! Good thing we're almost done building our escape pods from environmentally friendly recyclables."

Groundling #2: "Ready for takeoff, cap'n! We just need something to put in the hold for ballast. You know, to keep the pointy end of the egg up."

High Ones: "Taxi! Taxi"

Groundling #1: "Just enough of 'em to do the trick. Tell our - passengers - their Premium Deck cabins are ready.

Proto-Preservers: "Spooooot!!"

Groundlings: "...and we have lift-off! Whew! Time to upgrade." (They evolve into proto-Trolls.) "We'll need uniforms... "

A few particularly high-and-mighty High Ones: "Hello! We decided to stay up here and enjoy the view. Oh, my, what happens when you pull these levers and push these shiny things... "

Palace: "CRASH!!!! Clank, clunk, tinkle, wheeze, sputter."

Proto-Trolls: "Insurance is NOT going to cover this. Let's split before the locals blame us!" (Burrow underground like sensible people.)



^^^^^¡THAT!^^^^^


Seems likely, and would further explain why the Elves have NEVER successfully done ANYTHING with thr palace without at least one Troll onboard... The only time an elf tried to pilot it without a Troll, she crashed it into a mountain.

I mean, how can you not miss a MOUNTAIN, especially when you have lived in one for a large fraction of your life? oh, wait, I guess she crashed the mountain she lived in as well...

Just goes to show, Elves are far from technically inclined.

TrollHammer

Tyldak gets REALLY wierd after Kahvi dies on him... ends up romancing a lizard, who later lays a single egg. It hatches into something very closely resembling a teridactle.



After a few turns of the seasons, the half-wild creature was just flying along, minding it's own business carrying off livestock and whatnot, and Strongbow shoots it down for dinner.



The tribe feasts for a week, and get away scot free this time, as it was roaming on it's own.

TrollHammer

Skywise loses his headpiece.

Trollbabe

In regards to speculation in the "Final Quest" thread, about Skywise's demise:



Skywise doesn't actually die. He delivers a pizza to a cryogenics lab, only to find out the order is a fake. Disgusted, he sits down to eat the pizza himself. He leans too far back in his chair, falls into a cryogenic capsule, and is frozen for a thousand years. When he emerges, the world of two moons has changed beyond his wildest imaginings, yet some things remain the same.

Trollbabe

The cliffhanger leaves us with much to speculate:



Great Sun! What do Skywise and Leetah see?

TrollHammer


The cliffhanger leaves us with much to speculate:

Great Sun! What do Skywise and Leetah see?



Old Maggoty's bare backside while she was picking mushrooms.

Embala

OMG!!

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