Ember got her sword from Cutter and he got his from Bearclaw. The difference was Bearclaw gave his to Cutter because he knew he would not return alive and Ember gor hers because she became chief after they split up the tribe. As for identity, when you have a weapon as long as they do, it becomes part of you, you know how to handle it. Replacing it will be as to learn to use a sword all over again. I think Ember is still in doubt on how she is as a chief and loosing her sword doesn't contribute... and as Dewshine stated, she still isn't sure she deserves to be a chief.